Backbone 100 Countdown (30-21)

30. Bring Me the Horizon ‘Parasite Eve’

In 2019 Bring Me the Horizon teamed up with the game Death Stranding to release the song Ludens. As somebody who played the game I can tell you that it is essentially a walking simulator (more like Death Standing amirite). It’s not even close to the level of Goat Simulator or Farm Simulator which are fun and adventurous experiences. I wonder how far they can take it, like could we see ‘Accounting Simulator’ or ‘Glue Stick Simulator’ in the future? Endless possibilities.

29. Polaris ‘All of this is Fleeting’

What a profound title for a song, very Christopher Nolan of you Polaris. Speaking of Christopher Nolan, I was having a discussion about which film is better out of Inception or Interstellar. Personally I think Interstellar is a more rounded experience that tugs at the heart strings. The other reason I prefer Interstellar is that I haven’t actually seen Inception yet, I reference the movie all the time, but I’ve never seen it.

28. Justice for the Damned ‘Final Cataclysm’

Speaking of movies I haven’t seen before, Pulp Fiction is a film that I constantly get criticised for not seeing. Personally I don’t think the movie would hold up, also the movie is like 3 hours long and I don’t have time for that tomfoolery. This is coming from the same guy who says the Lord of the Rings movies are some of the greatest in cinematic history. That being said everyone knows Samuel L Jacksons best performance is from Snakes on a Plane.

27. The Gloom in the Corner ‘Requiem’

Lead singer Mikey Arthur recently told me that he knows how to speak Italian, honestly I’m kind of jealous. Learning a new language is a weird bucket list item for me, so a point must go to discount Captain Price. If only he put that much effort into making sure his story arc made sense, you think these song write-ups are mental? The Gloom story is some Charles Manson on bath salts type shit, I kinda love it.

26. Ocean Grove ‘Sense Again’

Yo this new Kid Cudi album is pretty wild. For someone who has such a sketchy track record when it comes to his music, I’m pretty stoked on this release. I’m trying to think of an example when a band did a complete 180 after a string of average albums. Some will say Northlane, but I’d argue Node and Mesmer were pretty good albums, Alien is a significant step up obviously. What a fucking album Alien is holy shit, I want Eclipse played at my wedding, and funeral.

25. Make Them Suffer ‘That’s Just Life’

When I interviewed Make Them Suffer earlier this year, they told me that one of their soundcheck songs was Frantic by Metallica. Unpopular opinion incoming, Frantic is Metallica’s best song. You can take your Master of Puppets and Unforgiven Part 31 and put them straight in the bin. Frantic is so good that it makes that fucking snare sound like a good idea. Lars Ulrichs best performance is either Frantic or Get Him to the Greek, split decision really.

24. Bring Me the Horizon ‘Obey’

Power Rangers are overrated. I hate to be that guy, but the stunt work is shotty at best with sub par acting holding the show back from reaching its full potential. Imagine if I actually thought this, just trashing a kids show because of poor acting and plot holes. Nah sorry I can’t invest into The Wiggles because Jeff is clearly awake when everyone tries to wake him up, 2 star rating on Yelp and 37% on Rotten Tomatoes.

23. Thy Art is Murder ‘Killing Season’

I find it strange that after 8 movies that Saw has never had a trap relating to a guys testicles. They come up with these elaborate traps that would take weeks to execute, but never has there been a simple, shoot your co worker or your balls get chopped off scenario. Maybe you need to chop your own parts off to survive the impending doom that awaits. That doll still freaks me out, tricycle riding fuck.

22. Bloom ‘The Service’

What do frogs and beer have in common? Both contain a substantial amount of hops (kill me). As we edge closer to Christmas my family always play games to remember who all the relatives are. I don’t think that makes me a bad person, especially when in comes to kids. Every year a couple kids arrive looking near identical and even after weeks of training, it ends up being a 50/50 guess.

21. Ocean Grove ‘Thousand Golden People’

Why do bands insist on having songs in all caps? Do you want me to scream the title? Hi guys this is Frowny and your’e listening to THOUSAND GOLDEN PEOPLE. It also looks ugly, don’t think the lower case songs get a free pass either, might as well whisper that shit. As someone who can barely spell or use grammar as it is, I need all the help I can get. Next year all 100 songs have to be capitalised correctly or you are going directly into the bin.

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